This morning I awoke to silence. Silence is something I have not experienced for quite some time. True silence, the kind that makes your eyes open wider and your skin crawl. What is so unnerving about the absence of noise? Maybe it is the amplification of our own noises that frightens us. The thought of being heard, with nothing to distract from the sound we make.
I awoke to darkness. Flipping the switch produced no light. The break in my routine bothered me, not like an annoying tick of a clock can for a moment. Being alone in the dark silence bothers me like nothing else can. What is more frightening than being in the dark, wishing to see but not seeing, believing you are alone but not knowing, wanting to scream but praying not to be heard.
Sun of the sleepless! melancholy star!
Whose tearful beam glows tremulously far,
That show'st the darkness thou canst not dispel,
How like art thou to joy remember'd well!
So gleams the past, the light of other days,
Which shines, but warms not with its powerless rays;
A night-beam Sorrow watcheth to behold,
Distinct, but distant -- clear -- but, oh how cold!
Life at college has brought with it many late nights. The moon is the sun of the sleepless, and quite sleepless am I. This little blog has the potential to contribute to that sleeplessness, but I am eager to begin this attempt at sharing my thoughts with whoever is willing to listen. So, now begins the adventure.
photo from the lovely catandbearstudios on etsy
